What actually helps
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Simple (and surprisingly profound) actions keeping me going
Dear Troublemakers,
I’ve attempted to write you several times, as my thoughts cycle around to the note I sent you one year ago. 👇 It still feels relevant. But, it’s not actually what I need right now.
The idea of focus itself feels like a stretch.
On what!?
And what first!?!?
And who’s gonna focus on all the stuff that I, and you, and we just can not get to, cannot do long enough to finish, do not know how to do, and perhaps most daunting—do not (yet!?) dare do?
I should clarify that I’m not talking about focus and doing in the ‘productive at work’ sense. I’m talking about remembering to drink water, walking the dog, dishes, personal hygiene, and staying connected to other people, the planet, and what brings you joy. Like, the stuff that keeps us alive and either doing or experiencing it helps us thrive.
In that spirit, I’m writing today with a list of the actual things working for me. Actions I’m actually doing.
Actual things working for me
For once in my life, drink lots of water. And get as much sleep as possible.
Use an analog calendar, installed where I’ll see it multiple times a day to help me remember…to book very few activities per day.
Track my emotions and strive to recognize what’s causing them (while declining to have or manage anyone else’s emotions).
Embrace work towards a better collective future and reject nasty bids for attention.
Seek out delight and connection!
In case you actually want to do some of these, today I’ll share how I’m managing the first few. That will hopefully reduce the cognitive loading, and we can reconnect soon about the rest of these strategies.
Ooookay, here’s what I’m doing first. 👇
Drink waaaaay more water.
I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy (and several other medical check-ups) in January. Doing the prep for the scoping showed me just how dehydrated I actually was. I’ve switched from my beloved little, insulated mug to the biggest travel mug we have, and I’m prioritizing drinking 3+ rounds of tea in it daily, plus at least one water bottle full. I keep the various, large containers nearby and/or in obvious spots (middle of the kitchen counter, at my place at the table) so I don’t have to use working memory to remember to refill them.
Sleep as much as possible, every day.
In any life situation ever, I’ve found sleep is the great control switch in the sky. The less sleep I get, the less bandwidth, patience, creativity, focus, motivation…you get the idea. And now, the How We Feel app (see below) helped me learn that 9-10 hours is my minimum for high functionality and generally positive interpretations of my day and the world. That is a lot more sleep than most people I know (other than kids) can access. But, now that I know it matters that much for me, I’m re-arranging what can to get closer to that target more often. I’m going to bed earlier, trying to sleep in, and taking naps when possible. I’m treating sleep like it’s gonna make the difference (because it usually does for me!).
Keep a small, dry-erase calendar right behind my tea kettle.
I found this calendar in a thrift store a couple of months ago, just when I was thinking I needed one! Given my hydration efforts, I’m now visiting my tea kettle numerous times a day. So, I placed the calendar right behind the kettle, giving me a reliable, visual reminder of one-off commitments (so easy to forget!) and vital standing meetings. This tactic (a) keeps me from looking at my phone first thing and late at night and (b) helps me not forget important things. This adjustment is now helping me feel far less frazzled and is reducing avoidable friction: I’m not so hard on myself when I’m not missing meetings and appointments! And again, as with my water bottles, I’m not relying on working memory—I’m outsourcing to reliable visual reminders.
Cut back as much as possible on meetings and schedule them around mid-day when possible.
That dry-erase calendar is also helping me restrain my “joiner” impulses; only ~4 commitments fit in a day’s square! Seeing that reality has helped me scale back, which has now helped me realize that the more solo brain time I have in the morning, the more likely I am to make art, write well, etc., at any point that day. And the fewer commitments I have per day, the more present, energized, and enthusiastic I am in them. This is a revelation for me, as I’ve long thought of myself as an extrovert—and I do prefer group projects to solo projects (for all matters except making art). I will note that paring down your calendar (especially for work or care giving) is a YMMV situation, but, perhaps counter-intuitively, the pay-offs can be huge personally (and professionally).
How about you?
What basic, everyday habits or actions are you leaning on for momentum, motivation, and connection in the face of everything happening in the world right now?
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